Emotions

When we started this process of fostering, we never thought that things would go as quickly as they did.  We were used to things going slowly,  We tried for seven years to get pregnant..  It was failure after failure.  It was tears. It was anger.  It was painful.  It was all kinds of emotions rolled into one word: 

Infertility.  

What a painful word.  I remember this post I did on Face.book during Infertility Awareness Week:

"I have struggled with words for days. How to put into words the many thoughts in my mind? So here goes nothing:

The world of infertility is hard. Month after month, year after year of emptiness. How do we cope and continue to live when we want a child is always foremost in our minds? We have been blessed with a lovely Sweetie while doing foster care and hopefully soon she will be ours forever! While this road is not for everyone, this is the way we choose to expand our family for right now. Please know there are couples who struggle daily with the life of infertility. My advice to you is to be a ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on and have an open heart to understand what their life is. Thank you to our friends and family who supported us during the 7 years of our struggle and who continue to support us as we grow our family through foster care and adoption!!!"

We were blown away with the support that we got!!!  My favorite was my best friends comment:

"You, my friend, are stronger than you believe and have more love than you give yourself credit for. Little Miss is extremely lucky, but do not feel that you have to pretend the first 7 years did not happen. The struggle will always remain a part of who you have become. A stronger, more loving mother."

The emotional roller coaster ride has had plenty of ups and downs.  But we strongly believe in what we are doing---changing the life of one child and hopefully someday soon another one.  At the end of the day, we are thankful that every morning we wake up to this face and tuck her in at night.